Pregnancy Humour :-)

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's gender?
A. Childbirth.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. What your breasts look like after you stop breastfeeding

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

And my favourite: (I actually laughed out loud when I read this one!)
Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan